In a tragic turn out of the Perelman Arts District this past weekend, it was obvious that the 24 hour play really might have been better with another day or two of prep time.
“They clearly thought they were doing something really subversive and interesting,” one disgruntled play viewer George Walker told reporters as actors in the play forgot their lines, “but none of the punchlines made any sense.
Recent reports reveal that Sigma Theta Delta’s rush process involves fun activities such as a silly icebreaker game, recording an embarrassing video, and homoerotically murdering a moose.
“It really caught me off guard. In the first round, they just gathered us in an auditorium and asked us to introduce ourselves in a unique way,” explained Byron Jameson ‘27, a prospective member of Sigma Theta Delta.
Still reeling from the backlash of the single-day spring weekend, the Brown Concert Agency, in a recent Instagram post, implored students to remember that the music is all around us, all we have to do is listen.
“In the quiet moments of introspection, we realize that music is not just an art form but the very essence of being, swirling around us in an invisible ballet, inviting us to close our eyes and listen to the harmony of the spheres,” posited Davidson as he sat on the Main Green and listened for birds.
In response to the campus community finding itself in conflict, Brown’s administrators plan to increase the conflict in the community.
“After seeing the heartbreaking effects of our exceptional community finding itself in a situation with so much conflict, we knew we had to act fast,” declared President Christina Paxson, launching propaganda campaigns demonizing different student activism groups.
According to a recent report, a local student unintentionally became naked in the process of taking off a sweatshirt.
“It was incredibly perplexing,” fellow student Katherine Steward recounted as the man stripped down, standing there as naked as the day he was born.