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The Brown Noser

Arts & Culture (Mar 15 2024 issue)

Film Critic Claiming Horror Movie Was About Grief Clearly Missed The Scary Monster That Kills People | Mar 15 2024

Recent comments from a film critic about a horror movie’s themes of grief clearly show he missed the scary monster that kills people. “The film expertly delivers a heart-wrenching display of the grief and guilt of losing a loved one,” said film critic Brendon Moutes, completely missing the grotesque, man-devouring swamp monster that the movie was clearly about.

Medieval Monk Drawing Baby Jesus Clearly Never Saw A Baby Before | Mar 15 2024

Tasked with depicting the Madonna and Child, Monk Bartholow’s drawing is making it obvious that he has never seen a baby before in his entire life. “I have seen so many children,” insisted Bartholow while shading baby Jesus’ swole six pack in a misguided effort to make a more realistic looking infant.

Report: Podcast Guest Also Has Podcast | Mar 15 2024

According to the introduction of the most recent episode of the podcast “Crime Ever After,” it sounds like this podcast guest also has their own podcast. “We’re so excited Jessie is here to talk to us today about a story she’s been talking about for a while now,” exclaimed host Abigail Bridges, giving the floor to her guest that episode, who plans to just say all the things she already said on her podcast, again, on this podcast.

Oscars Recovering From Racism With Thoughtfully Selected Sexism | Mar 15 2024

The 2024 Academy Awards have announced a move to recover from a longstanding tradition of racism with thoughtfully selected sexism. “As a top institution in the entertainment industry, we acknowledge the harm that our racist legacy has caused on creators of color throughout history, and we intend to not only fix this injustice but commit another injustice in its place,” said Academy CEO Bill Kramer, encouraging all female creators to be courteously removed from consideration in racial solidarity.

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